Things that frost my gourd (Part 2)

I've got two of them (today has been one of those days).

1. People who answer your questions with the answer they want to give, not the answer to the question you asked.
   
   For nearly 3 weeks I have been asking one simple (well, to my mind it was simple) question: what are the rules for naming an 'x' you are building to hold a 'y'. Once the strange looks (I thought I had sprouted horns out of the center of my forehead) had passed, I was told how to do something with 'y', how to write a procedure describing how 'y' is used, how to build an 'm' to hold an 'n', that 'x's did not need names and eventually that 'x's did not even exist. All of that accompanied with a semi-condescending look that said "Every idiot knows that.". Today, I found the rules (which I knew existed, because we had to take a course about the use of 'x's but where we were not told the rules of naming them.).
   
   
2. Businesses who make their employees answer the phone with "How can I give you excellent service today?"
   
   To date I have resisted the urge to say something like "Wow-You really do dare to dream the impossible dream!" or "You can't. I want the same crappy service I have come to expect from ....." or "By tapdancing your answers to me in Morse code.", but some day I will (unless I come up with a better one between now and then, and I am accepting contributions). Being greeted like that (expecially after spending 20 minutes on hold) generally means that the excellent service bird has already flown the coop.

Ciao for now

Curmudgeons-R-Us TM